Category Archives: hyperbole

Hyperbole: Pussy rules the world

FIRST of all, this is a bit of a long one, so if you’re not interested in 17th century poetry, punk rock fanzines, bleepy sounds from Sheffield, Badly Drawn Boy, bossa nova or cats, you’d probably best fuck off now. I promise I won’t be offended.

Now, are we all sitting comfortably?

The best ideas are often the simplest.

Whoever it was at Punks is Hippies who came up with the genius idea of scanning old punk fanzines and sticking them online as downloadable pdf files deserves a medal – although thinking about it, they’d probably prefer a dinky little button badge.

Among a ton of UK publications from the Eighties (like Acts of Defiance, pictured), you’ll also find a treasure trove of more recent European zines such as Vapaus! from Osijek, Croatia featuring such mellow, middle-of-the-road acts as Zudas Krust (Indonesia), Kääska (Brazil), Derriba Tus Muros (Brazil) and Chaos Destroy (USA).

Punks is Hippies is allied to the equally worthy Digital Fanzine Preservation Society and the UK Zine Library (where I was very pleased to see a couple of my old publications and even better, several issues of legendary Scunny punkzine Fuck Off & Drop Dead) and I think it is just about the best idea I’ve come across in oooh, weeks.

Consolidating and building your brand through social media is also a pretty simple idea but it’s surprising how many organisations get it so very wrong ..

Read the rest of this piece at the new home of Expletive Undeleted here.

Hyperbole: Beefs and love, again and again

EARLIER this year, for reasons too complicated to go into here, I had reason to be looking for kids from an estate in Preston who made their own music.

It turned out that the supposedly uncommunicative and hard-to-reach youth on this particular estate were absolutely into communicating with the outside world, but you’d only know about it if you looked on MySpace.

Although broadly ‘urban’ in origin, the music they’re coming up with ranges from grime and dubstep to 4×4 bassline and straightforward hip hop. In the comments for each profile, it’s all about barz, beefs, merking and endz and a lot of the time I don’t have a fucking clue what they’re on about, to be honest – though I have a pretty good idea – but one name seems to crop up time and again ..

Read the rest of this piece at the new home of Expletive Undeleted here.

Hyperbole: Punk is dead but music is free

WHERE are the old punks on Twitter? There are more 30-something DJs tweeting their brains out than you could shake a shitty stick at, but the generation of stay-up-forever party animals before them don’t seem to have caught the bug in quite the same way.

They’re all over Facebook, MySpace and most other online social media platforms you’d care to mention, from the well-meaning and informative but occasionally holier-than-thou Southern Records forum to the irreverent and endlessly diverting website born out of the legendary Kill Your Pet Puppy fanzine. But very few have made it onto Twitter.

Of course, Boy George tweets. He was, and remains, as punk as fuck. Ditto Alternative Tentacles, clearly, and the Gang of Four too. Okay, and Justin Broadrick. And ACR. I also have my suspicions about the not-so-secret pasts of people like Graeme Park and Luke Solomon. But where is Viv Albertine? The Shend from the Cravats? Jimmy Pursey? Pauline Murray? Cal from Discharge? Mensi? Are you out there?

Apparently not. They’ve probably got better stuff to do. Which is a shame, because I think Cal from Discharge would be able to do wonderful things with 140 characters – although they’d probably all be capitals, exclamation marks and downward smiley-faces :(

@Cal_from_Discharge AIN’T NO FEEBLE BASTARD, AIN’T NO FUCKING SCAPEGOAT!!! Also, thinking about what to have for tea 1 day ago

Read the rest of this piece at the new home of Expletive Undeleted here.

Hyperbole: Back to the Phuture

IT TAKES me a couple of seconds to realise that the Third Davyhulme Scout & Guide Marching Band are playing Hit The North as they turn onto Deansgate in front of us.

Somehow their spirited instrumental rendition of Mark E Smith’s tale of useless MPs and big wide streets manages to be utterly ludicrous and totally brilliant at exactly the same time, perfectly setting the tone for the rest of the Procession put together by Jeremy Deller in collaboration with the people (and football club mascots) of Greater Manchester.

Criticised, a little unfairly I think, for not attracting more Manchester residents to Manchester International Festival in 2007, MIF director Alex Poots wanted to find a big, high-profile, mass-participation, free event for the festival’s opening weekend and with thousands of people lining the parade route, Procession seems to have done the trick.

While Deller has a history of tackling big ideas, people are always at the very heart of his work and it is the people of Manchester who make the parade – and the city – what it is. Poignant, daft, inspiring, hilarious and baffling in equal measure, it perhaps sums up the complexities and contradictions of Manchester as well as any official census or commercial survey.

“I love parades, so I’d like to do my own parade about a town that I have a lot of love for,” Deller told me at the festival launch. “Even though I don’t live here, it means a lot to me as a part of Britain. It’s a town I’ve been interested in for years. You come up here and the buildings are really telling you about the past. You feel it, you feel the history. I find that very exciting, walking around.”

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Hyperbole: Flux and Freaks, Twitter ye not

EAGLE-EYED readers will have noticed that Expletive Undeleted now has its own ‘Twittery-Twattery’ feed (down there on the right) where I talk about all the things I can’t be arsed blogging about, in 140 characters or less.  Come join the party. You will get spammed by PR twats! Yay!

There are also a few new additions to the blogroll – Manchester arts and culture supremo Mancubist, superlative resource for all things clubby / DJing / house music-related, Resident Advisor, and the fairly self-expanatory Easy Listening World.

And while we’re at it, visit History Is Made At Night for more of Transpontine’s fascinating and informative words on the politics of dancing, all around the world, right through the ages. Marvellous and inspiring stuff.

And while we have our dancing shoes on, the ever-generous Freaks are giving away mp3s of two versions of a new song, the groovy and very beautiful Black Shoes, White Socks. All your need to get your ears on these bits of top notch bendy house music is go to the Music For Freaks website and sign your life away.  You probably won’t regret it.

Kev H from the recently re-defunct Flux got in touch to let me know that Hard Night Out, the Professor Green track which samples Tube Disaster by Flux, finally looks like getting a formal release. Head over here to see the vid. I think they might be getting a percentage so let’s make it a hit, eh chaps?

Hyperbole: “Site will drive me crazy!”

PROVIDING a much needed unicorn chaser to the dark excesses of 1974, 1980 and 1983 – and giving you, dear reader, the opportunity to test the snazzy play/download option on zShare – the entirely appropriate Sergio Mendes & Brasil 77 bring us Love Music.

If this song doesn’t make you feel glad to be alive, that you could just kiss the sun if the fancy should take you, that everything will be alright in the end, probably, then there is something seriously wrong with you, my friend. You have no soul. Seek professional help. Quickly. But let me know what you think to the play/download thing before you do.

Dean Cavanagh definitely has a soul. Dean is one of those people who is always up to something.

I first ran into him in the early Nineties when he was promoting Bradford’s first big rave events and got to know him properly when he started the Herb Garden club culture fanzine with Dave Gill a couple of years later. He went on to promote the innovative Soundclash nights in Leeds before landing a major label deal with his friend Enzo Annecchini under the name Glamorous Hooligan.

Since then, he’s forged a working partnership with Irvine Welsh, with whom he’s written for both stage and screen. The pilot of Dean’s latest TV project Svengali, a razor-sharp comedy about an innocent (Jonathan Lewis Owen) lost in the London music biz, is being released in weekly five-minute chunks on You Tube and I guess the idea is for someone to pick it up and give them the money to do a full production.

It features Sally Phillips, Jodie Whittaker and cameos from the likes of Alan McGee and Paolo Hewitt and while you can tell they’re doing it guerrilla-style, it’s funny and it’s smart and I like it.

And while I remember, new band alert: Shit & Glitter, listen out for them. They are the future of now ..

Read the rest of this piece at the new home of Expletive Undeleted here.

Hyperbole: It’s a drug, it’s a cult .. and I think I like it

WE’VE already established that a million monkeys randomly tapping away on a million typewriters for a zillion years are unlikely to produce the complete works of Shakespeare or anything like it – but what would these strangely conscientious literary simians actually come up with?

You can get a peak at the first fruits of the initial 20 years of this ongoing, open-ended social experiment courtesy of Alphainventions, a blog aggregator which allows viewers to see a seemingly endless cycle of frontpages from the far reaches of the mechanical webnets.

Like some gargantuan two-dimensional online tower of Babel almost entirely populated by psychotic apes on drugs jabbering at each other without even realising they’re not talking the same language, Alphainventions might seem a little wacked out to the casual observer. And also the not-so-casual observer ..

Read the rest of this piece at the new home of Expletive Undeleted here.